What I Am Reading: Dangerous Journey

This summer I went to a homeschool book fair with a friend of mine.  Talk about book overload!  It was amazing!  I. Love. Books!

I picked up a children's version of Pilgrim's Progress, called Dangerous Journey.  I knew that we would be going through it this year, but I didn't realize how much I would enjoy it, and my children too!

Simply put, it is a story of a dream of the christian journey.  It has opened the door for some deep conversations about destruction, salvation, and the journey to The Celestial City.  

 Yesterday, my 5 year old exclaimed out the blue,

"I love that book you're reading to us." 

While my older child seems bored with it, I know that she is at least thinking about things, and that makes my heart glad.  My prayer is that God will use this to soften and mold her heart, to place in her a desire to run the race. 

Raising God's Girls

I am so excited about all my friends that are Homeschooling! Whatever the reasons, I am a true believer that being home with your kids is the best thing for them. Don't get me wrong, you gotta do what you gotta do, and if that means you gotta work and put your kids in public school, then by all means, do that. But spending time with your children, when ever possible, is the only way to teach them, to love them, to raise them up to be godly adults some day.

If I am being honest, I would have to say that being a stay at home mom was never on my to-do list. I remember a conversation I had when I was in high school, about to graduate. I was filling out forms for government assistance programs, financial aid, and loans, narrowing down my college choices, and planning my future. "I will not be a stay at home mom. I want to do something with my life, and staying home is not an option."

Here I am some many years later, a stay-at-home mom!

I LOVE MY JOB!

Again, if I am being honest, it isn't always perfect. In fact, 90% of the time, I am worrying and fretting that I might be somehow ruining my children. But, when the day (or maybe week, and sometimes month) is done, and I see some real fruit of my labor, it feels my heart with joy. A true joy! But I must give credit where credit is due. If I really tally up the times I have missed the mark, and the times I did something right, I have to admit that there something else at work somehow connecting the dots that I have overlooked or willfully ignored. These girls that I attempt to raise really belong to God, and I am learning to trust that He has better plans for them than I could possibly imagine.

That doesn't mean I just take my hands off the wheel and somehow expect this train to stay on the tracks, but it does mean that when I am off track, I can trust God to bring me back. I can trust God to bring the whole runaway-train-headed-for-a-wreck, into His will.

It's scary and beautiful all at once. Beautiful that God has seen fit to place in my care these children, and scary that He placed in my care these children. I mean, I am fallen and sinful and the list doesn't stop there. But praise God for grace!

-GRACE-

Ahh grace.

Sweet, freeing grace.

He is made strong in my weakness, and I pray that my girls see the importance of grace and relying on His strength.

And that is where I am, today. Yesterday, I was a frenzied mess, wrapped up in my self and my short comings. But His mercy is new every morning. Lord, help me to show my children, your daughters, what it means to trust in You. That when we fail Your grace takes our short comings and fills in the gaps, it connects the dots, it is made complete only in You.

What I'm Reading

I just finished C. S. Lewis' Mere Christiany. And can I say, "WOW!"

This book was riddled with amazing imagery and phrasing that just blew me away. I love how C. S. Lewis wrote, but most I love what he wrote about.

From dealing with the hard questions, "Is there a God?", to nailing down the root of sin, Pride. But in his last few chapters, he dealt with the process of transformation, what it looks like, and what it doesn't. So, an excerpt from his book:

Mere Christianity, Book 4, Chapter 10:
Nice People or New Men

"For mere improvement is not redemption, though redemption always improves people even here and now and will, in the end, improve them to a degree we cannot yet imagine. God became man to turn creatures into sons: not simply to produce better men of the old kind but to produce a new kind of man. It is not like teaching a horse to jump better and better but like turning a horse into a winged creature. Of course, once it has got its wings, it will soar over fences which could never have been jumped and thus beat the natural horse at its own game. But there may be a period, while the wings are just beginning to grow, when it cannot do so: and at that stage the lumps on the shoulders - no one could tell by looking at them that they are going to be wings - may even give it an awkward appearance."

I feel like I'm in that awkward stage. My wings aren't quite in, and no one knows whether they will even be wings. But I know that with Christ by my side, I will be transformed. Not just a better me, but a new me, the me that God purposed before I was even born.

Do You Do Well...

Jonah 4:4-7 ESV

And the Lord said, “Do you do well to be angry?” Jonah went out of the city and sat to the east of the city and made a booth for himself there. He sat under it in the shade, till he should see what would become of the city. Now the Lord God appointed a plant and made it come up over Jonah, that it might be a shade over his head, to save him from his discomfort. So Jonah was exceedingly glad because of the plant. But when dawn came up the next day, God appointed a worm that attacked the plant, so that it withered.

We all know the story of Jonah. Even talking vegetables know the story! Sometimes we want to stop before we get to that last chapter. I love that God doesn’t want us to forget anything in His word.

What I really love about this passage of scripture, is the realness. I can totally relate! This past week, I was excited to be part of a ministry that works with refugee children at an apartment complex in Dallas. I had such an amazing time, and my girls got to be involved with me. But I’m not saying any of this to brag or make myself look good, because what God allowed later, revealed some ugly stuff in my heart. It was much like Jonah.

After leaving the apartment, I noticed that the tire pressure light had come on. This is somewhat of a new feature that lets you know when your tires are getting low. As I was traveling down hwy 75, I figured I would deal with it when I got home. And wouldn’t you know it, I didn’t get home before I was forced to deal with it. After running what I thought would be a quick errand, the tire was completely flat!

There I was in the parking lot, 4 packages of bottles of water sitting on top of the spare. So, I proceeded to unload the the back so I could get to the spare, and simultaneously texted Stacy to let him know if my demise. Wouldn’t you know that as soon as I had the car unloaded I receive the news that the jack is not in the car! Now my countenance has fallen. Cursings and bad attitudes ensued. I’m sure God was saying, “Do you do well to be angry?” But I wasn’t listening. I was too busy wallowing and justifying.

And just as soon as things were bad, they were good again. I was never so thankful for roadside assistance! I confessed to my children that I didn’t have a happy heart, and I should change my attitude and be thankful in all things. You would think I had learned. But now I must find a tire place to repair the tire. With my handy phone, I quickly looked up the nearest location and headed that way. And did not find it! So I went to the next location, and what wonderfully sweet and helpful people they were, till I found out that not only could my tire not be repaired but because I have an all wheel drive I will now have to replace all 4 tires! And out the door went my happy heart! Again, I’m sure the Lord was saying, “Do you do well to be angry?” But I wasn’t listening. I was too busy not respecting my husband, and giving him an earful! By this time we had missed lunch and I was now shelling out more money than I care to remember.

But as I sat and waited, I finally listened. “Do you do well to be angry?”

There’s Jonah, sitting and waiting for what he thinks God should do. Getting angry because of the sin in his own heart. And God shades him for awhile, relieves him from his discomfort, but Jonah refuses to change. To force him to deal with his hard, unhappy, and ungrateful heart, God appoints a worm (or in my case a flat tire) to kill the plant and then Jonah is exposed to the sun and hot winds. God asks him again if being angry is doing him any good. I felt that this past week. Thank God for His unfailing love. I confessed and repented, and I am so thankful He hears and forgives.

1Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

And even Job responds with, “Naked I came from my mothers womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord” when he learns that he has lost everything.

Lord help me to remember that all that I have is from you, and that it doesn’t do me any good to be angry. Every good and perfect gift is from You. Even if it doesn’t look “good” to me, you have purposed it for my good and for Your glory.