Sunday, May 11, 2014
And then I realized I had only 30 minutes to get ready for church, make sure my children were ready, and that we all looked our best, because it's Mother's Day, and what better way to say it, than with a pristine looking family!
And after church, there was the ceremonious Mother's Day lunch, where I had to make a decision that all would love. And finally, the end all be all, constant answer to "What do you want?"
Do you want to know what I replied?
Are you sure? It may not look too Christ centered...
"I've already said what I wanted for Mother's Day, so if that's not going to happen, please stop asking."
I mean it came nice and calm, and I get some "mom" points for not yelling, right?
So, what went wrong? I'm not sure, really. I wonder if we are missing the point somewhere. I know I've heard many men, including my man, say that we shouldn't just honor moms one day a year, or our wives just one day a year, but that it should be done through out the year. That's definitely true, I agree with that wholeheartedly. But let's be honest, that doesn't happen, and so having a special day marked out to celebrate special people, can be a good thing.
But that doesn't really deal with my heart. And in my heart, I know that what I was inspired to write earlier, and now feel some contempt for, is that Jesus is and should be at the center of Mother's Day.
But we continue to leave Him out.
Well, I know I have anyways. How is that even possible? I go to church on Mother's Day, I pray for moms, I encourage moms, I still take a gospel stance in disciplining my children on Mother's day. But where's my heart in all of that?
Let's think about it this way:
What happens when/if my children or spouse forget that it's Mother's day?
How do I feel when my kids disobey on Mother's day (and I mean big time disobey)? Or if they are completely disrespectful or talking back or bickering with their siblings?
What is my response to having a day that looks like all other days, when it's supposed to be a special day for me?
We typically think (or at least I do, please don't leave me hanging out here alone) just one day, don't I deserve to have obedient children? Don't I deserve a day where I don't have to play mediator? Don't I deserve to get what I really wanted? Why does my family always forget about me? Why can't I just have one day?
And this was my heart.
There aren't enough frowny emoticons to really depict the sorrow I feel for being so selfish.
The truth is, I don't deserve anything. I can't expect a sin free day while living in a sin filled world, living in a sinful body. As a believer in Christ, I know that what I truly deserve is the wrath of God for my sins.
And the greatest gift of all is that debt has been paid.
That is what I want for Mother's day. To be reminded that I didn't earn a free day. I haven't lived selflessly enough to earn me a day of being selfish. I haven't worked enough training my kids right, that I've earned a day where my expectations are greater that God's. I want to remember Jesus today, that He is the center of everyday, not me or my kids or anyone person. I want to remember that His grace enough for me when I am selfish, for my kids when they sin and for my husband. I want to remember the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made for me, a mother. Media and society tells us that moms are the most sacrificial people, giving up their whole lives for their children. But where does the capacity to give up your life come from? I'll honestly admit I do not possess the will power in and of myself to always live sacrificially, not even for my children who I love dearly. Any sacrifice I have ever made, has only been a grace of God to me, through the strength of His spirit in me. That I have only been able to receive because of the true sacrifice of Jesus Christ.
The good news of Mother's Day, is that isn't about me. I don't have to be a perfect mom, or a super mom, or a tiger mom. Where I have failed, where I still fail, and where I will fail in the future is covered. Not because of me or anything I can do to make it right. The good news of Mother's Day is Jesus. How can I make a day, everyday, about Him?
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
3 gifts close
This seems easy enough, I have three people very close to me day in and day out. My husband and my two beautiful girls. But do I always have Gratitude for them? No, but I pray that today as I focus on being thankful for them, I will love them more even in the yucky, sin filled moments.
I am thankful for my husband who sacrifices so much for this family. The way he loves me (even in my yucky sin filled moments) is a blessing and a grace.
My first beautiful child, who is in the confusing midst of becoming a woman, is still a blessing and a gift of God. All her willfulness and stubbornness, all her willingness and persistence, a beautiful blessing to me, a reward. I am thankful.
The youngest beauty, the sweet child, who feels she has earned what her heart desires. She is my reminder that I cannot earn God's goodness, and I am not entitled to my heart's desires just because I think I an being good.
The way God uses those closest to me, to sanctify me. I am thankful!
Friday, March 14, 2014
"My wounds stink and fester because of my foolishness"
"Do not forsake me, O Lord! O my God, be not far from me! Make haste to help me, O Lord, my salvation.!"
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
I said recently, and many times in the past, with a bit of sorrow, "I'm just so broken." That somehow this world has done irreparable damage to my soul, and this broken-ness has separated me from others, and maybe even from my Savior.
While my head knows the truth of the Gospel, and those comments are absurd in the context of my head knowledge, my heart sometimes disagrees.
But I have been comforted. God reminds me that He is near to the brokenhearted and He saves those who are crushed in spirit. Was this His plan all along? I think so. He knew me before I was even born. My days were written long before I lived even one of them.
Why would a broken heart be part of His plot for the story of my life? How can He draw near to me, if I refuse to believe the true status of my soul? How can I know the lowly state of my nature without feeling the weight of sin.
I am broken! But not beyond repair. While I live in this sin-broken world though, I will never see my life completely repaired. Lest I seek perfection over seeking God, who alone is perfect.
I am broken, and the more I grasp that knowledge, the more I understand that is the best place to be. As Paul says, I will boast all the more in my weaknesses. His grace is sufficient for me, when I am weak, He is strong.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Posting lyrics to a song we have been singing at church, it is a blessing!
You can also check it out on iTunes.
O fount of love divine that flows from my saviors bleeding side
Where sinners trade their filthy rags for His righteousness applied
Mercy cleansing every stain now rushing o’er us like a flood
There the wretch and vilest ones stand adopted through His blood
O mount of grace to thee we cling from the law hath set us free
Once and for all on Calvary’s hill love and justice shall agree
Praise the Lord! the price is paid the curse defeated by the Lamb
We who once were slaves by birth, sons and daughters now we stand
O well of joy is mine to drink for my Lord hath conquered death
Victorious forevermore, the ancient foe is laid to rest
Hallelujah, Christ is King! alive and reigning on the throne
Our tongues employed with hymns of praise, Glory be to God alone!
Monday, January 02, 2012
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