My Verse

Isaiah 43:1

"But now, thus says the Lord, your Creator, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Isreal, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!"

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


What if you were able to see glimpses into the future? Would you do everything in your power to change the future? Your sitting in your La-z-Boy recliner one evening when all of a sudden your face does a "Raven" and you see a single moment in your future, your death. You can't see the circumstances leading up to it, or any others that may be involved, only you dead from an accident. Would you be like Sandra Bullock in Premonition and go insane trying to figure out all the details so you could change what happened?

Ephesians 4:1

1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

There is only one person who knew the time of His death, the circumstances leading up to it and surrounding it. Instead of living His life to somehow change His future, He embraced it, He looked for it, and at times He staved off premature death in order to be at His purposed time.

He lived His life worthy of this calling. Everything about Him pointed towards this purpose.

God has been speaking to me about death. Not a physical death, but a death of my flesh. He has given me a premonition that my past must die. I have moments of feeling like a live person trapped in a casket buried 6 feet under. There is a person inside of me that is screaming to live, but it cannot break free because I have not embraced the death of the old me. I am brought to Col 3 again.

1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.


12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

and Eph 4...

1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Am I walking in forgiveness towards others? Am I walking in unity of the Spirit? What is the calling I have received, and how can I walk worthy of that calling?

First I must partake of the "one baptism" which is dying to my old self, and being raised in Christ as a new creation. Lord, I want to die to my flesh, to my old life. I want to be new in You. You take my life and remove the old rags and like Lazarus You remove the stone and the the wrappings that bind me. I choose life, You are the resurrection and the life, and I choose You. Lord, cause my spirit to live in the unity of Your spirit.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


I'm 5'6, 150 lbs (on a good day, early in the morning w/ no extra weight). I wear an 8.5 - 9 size shoe, and I'm a size 10/12 in pants and M shirts. I'm average. When it comes to buying clothes and shoes, I usually find what I like in a size larger or smaller, but rarely in my size. Why? Cause every other average person has already beat me to it. I'm average.

I've always wanted to lead, felt like I could lead, but rarely had anyone follow. I figure people don't want to follow an average person. They want to follow someone who is extraordinary, salient, outstanding. I certainly don't stand out. I'm one of those people who gets lost in the crowd easily. I've been at parties only to have the host ask me the next day if I was there, they just don't remember me.

I've always been the type of person to be second. Not really first at anything. Even my sister recognized this. When my mom passed away and we were allowed to pick through her jewelry to find things we wanted to keep, she of course went first and left me with the things she found to be second rate. Of course she would do her best to assure me that she would make sure I got something of great importance. Okay.

Growing up in my old church is where I usually tried to stand out the most. But once again I was only average. Everytime I felt like I found that place where I finally fit, that place that I just knew God purposed for me, somehow someone else ended up being there. I felt like that kid in a game of musical chairs. You know, the one that always get pushed out of the chair they thought was theirs, or is just too slow to find an open chair. They're always the first one out and they never win. I'm just average.

In terms of pottery, I am the clay piece that sits on a top shelf collecting dust cause there are other identical pieces that seem to be at eye level, and everyone notices those. The ones at the top are always forgotten or seem to end up shattered on the floor.

I'm average.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Hidden in You

Colossians 3:1-4
1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Lord, I want to be hidden in You.

I see myself surrounded by a shroud. It covers me and envelops me completely from head to toe. I am comfortable here, there is peace. I feel safe. Then I am taken, still completely covered, and put into a furnace. It is hot, and I think that my covering is melting away. But no, it melding into me. I am becoming conformed to this shroud. Everything that is earthen, of this world, melts away, and I am taking on a new form. When this process is complete, I am removed from the fire, and my image is now a new creation. I am like gold refined, all impurities have melted away and all that remains is pure gold.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Being in the Light

Love, it is an intoxicating thing, as John always says! :) When you feel love from others and towards others it effects your mind, your heart, your whole being. I can truely say that I have felt the intoxicating love of my Creator. It has been amazing. I look back over the past few months, and I see the hand of God reaching out to me, to take me by my hand. Like a prince w/ his princess, to rescue her. How many times I refused His hand, only find that I would fall in the mud or become swarmed by my enemies. When all He wanted was to rescue me. Lord, be my refuge, I want to run to You, and hide away in You, in the center of Your salvation.

So, this love that I feel needs a place a go. It is overwhelming. Because of my hardened heart, I did not know how to show love towards others. If my friends betrayed me, I cut them off. If people hurt me, I cursed them. My words were my weapon, and I have killed so many with them. 1 John 2 speaks of love as being in the light. It says that if you hate your brother, you are not in the light, if you love the world you are not in the light. I had been living such a backwards life. I lusted after things of this world, and hated my brothers. I was in complete darkness. Praise You Lord for shining Your light on me! I want to be in the light as You are in the light! So, how do I do that? I must love!

James 3 talks of the tounge being an evil that cannot be tamed. But verse 4 says this:
Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.

This stuck out to me more than anything. With my tounge I praise and curse, but how do I tame my tounge so that all that comes out is what God wants. It comes back to who is piloting my ship. Am I the pilot, with a deceitful heart? Or have I truely given this vessel over to the Lord so that He may put a bridel on my tounge and cause it speak His words of love?

Lord my heart is Yours. I want to surrender control of my life, and trust You. I believe that You love me. That You are Love, and that You have loved me from the beginning. I want to show Your love to others. To walk in love so that I may continue to walk in Your light. I want Your praise to be continually on my lips. With my words I want to bring life, not death.

Proverbs 18:21
21 The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.