Dare to Hope?

Psalms 42:5
Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence.

Hebrews 5:3-5
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

And HOPE does not disappoint. And yet I feel so disappointed. Afraid to hope for fear it will come crashing down around me. I have hoped for so many things, and like bubbles on a hot summer day in Texas, those hopes have vanished. Evaporated before falling to the ground, with nothing left as evidence that they even existed. I know that sounds extreme, and a bit dramatic.

Is Hope something we can just will to exist, or not to exist? I think of hope as a balloon, and God is picking through my bundle with needle. Pop, pop, pop till nothing is left. Of course this seems cruel, but really now that I look at it, it's all because I'm blowing up hopeless balloons. All my hope should be in Jesus, and yet it seems that it isn't.

So, I want to be angry, am I some child that I need this sort of discipline? Why can't He just send someone to tell me? Why force this on me in this way? Surely there are other ways to make this point. It hurts and I'm tired, I just want some relief from crying my eyes out over popped balloons. "...suffering produces perseverence; perseverance, character; and character, hope..."

Let My Silence Be Praise

Sweet melody to Your ears alone.
In silence my heart cries
It cries out to you
That you would be glorified alone.

As the trees praise
As the mountains bow
Like all creation
I will glorify You

Sweet fragrance to You alone.
My song is silenced
To hear Your voice
That You would be glorified alone.

As the trees praise
As the mountains bow
Like all creation
I will glorify You.

Melinda Wells
04/05/09

Eccl 3:6-8
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

1 Kings 19:11-13
11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

I love to sing, I love to write, I love to talk, I love to voice my opinion, idea, thoughts, and everything. Lately I have felt a need to just be quiet. To just listen to the Lord. Sometimes I get wrapped up in my own words, and I don't stop to examine them. Do they agree with God's words? Are my words louder than His? I want to be like the trees, created to praise just like I am, but without words they bring Him glory. They simply do what they were created for. Mountains bow before God's majesty. No words uttered there, just humble surrender. Like Ecclesiastes says, there is a time to be silent, and that time is now.