Wow, I'm actually doing this 2 days in a row! I actually some things I wanted to just get off my chest. We found out last night that a very close friend of ours passed away last night. At first, I just did the usual..."Oh, really? That's so sad." Without really feeling any of it. This morning, I woke up to the realization that I have to tell Caeli. This friend was one of Caeli's first babysitters. She was almost like a grandmother to Caeli, and Caeli loved her very much. And it hit me. I wasn't much older than Caeli when my grandparents passed. I remembered how much it hurt, and even then I was learning how to suppress those feelings. I didn't cry at my grandmothers funeral. But I could never let go either. I don't want to start Caeli on this path. I know that death is a part of life, but it can also make a person hard and bitter, unemotional and full of apathy. How do I help her to know that it is okay to be sad, to hurt, and even be upset. But also help her to let go, and know that it will pass in time. She's only 4! I can't tell her. I can't put her through it. It's not fair, death is not fair, life is not fair! God, what am I to do?
Well, I can't leave it on such a depressing note! There is always life, when you are in Christ! One day we will all be together again.
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