Finding Life

Withering Away

A flower in the sun withers away.
The cool morning seemingly greets her
With a warmth that promises great things.
A trusting flower withers and falls away.

God, I feel like I'm dying inside.
Slowly withering away.
Is this You bringing out a new life?
Or is this me refusing to go Your way?

To die; death brings new life.
A flower dies and spreads seeds
The water falls and the sun warms
Only time will tell if new life will be.

Are You glorified in the death of a flower
Or the raising of something new?
Or is Your glory displayed in the splendor
Of the flowers fragrance, its bloom?

I only want to live
And to live is to bring You glory.
I only want to live
I only want to give You glory.

So, I wrote this last month while I was in a place where it seemed that God was continually taking things from me. And I knew He was saying die to myself, to my past, to who I see myself as. But I just couldn't do it, and His response was to put me in a corner with what He wanted me to do and face it. God is good at that. Putting us face to face with the truth. Not out of spite or to be mean, but to bring us freedom. The only reason He ever exposes the truth to us is so that we walk even more freely, in Him.

The last part of the ryhme is "I only want to live..." I didn't want to die, I didn't want to crucify my flesh. If I could hold on just a little longer, I'd give it up when I was ready. God has a way of bringing us to the point of "being ready." Right before Jesus is about to be handed over to His death, He speaks about the the grain of wheat. If it doesn't fall to the ground and die, it will never produce more fruit. He was speaking of course of His own death, but salvation and freedom are only found when we partake of His death. When we die to our own flesh and are made new in Him.

John 12:24-26

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.