Journal entry dated 05-16-08:
"...All I want is to be seen, noticed, to feel accepted, liked, wanted even. I want to be wanted. To have someone seek me out, search for me, want me..." "I know You say that You want me, You seek me, You search for me, that should be enough, and yet it's not. I don't know what Your or anyone would see in me. Why would anyone want me?"
God you have been pursuing me. I feel you and even though I don't feel worthy of it, You have been speaking to me. What great love You must have for me. Who am I that You would pursue me? That You would come after me with such passion and desire.
And yet I still struggle. Fighting against You, pushing against You, and even denying Your presence all together. Why do I fight against the One who loves me the most? I feel unworthy of such love.
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